At CrossPointe, we implement a family-integrated model for our church. This means that we intentionally keep families together during the entire worship service. We do not seek to separate our church body into groups such as youth group and children’s church, among others. We do not believe that other churches that follow different models are in sin. However, we see the family-integrated model as the most effective way to raise up the next generation of believers.

Consider the following passages:

Deuteronomy 31:12-13 (ESV):

12 Assemble the people, men, women, and little ones, and the sojourner within your towns, that they may hear and learn to fear the LORD your God, and be careful to do all the words of this law, 13 and that their children, who have not known it, may hear and learn to fear the LORD your God, as long as you live in the land that you are going over the Jordan to possess.”

Joshua 8:34-35 (ESV):

34 And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessing and the curse, according to all that is written in the Book of the Law. 35 There was not a word of all that Moses commanded that Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel, and the women, and the little ones, and the sojourners who lived among them.

Ezra 10:1 (ESV):

While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men, women, and children, gathered to him…

In the Old Testament, all Israelites, no matter their age, were to hear the Law read. They did not ‘dumb down’ the Word of God for the children.

But this idea was not just limited to the Old Testament. Children are specifically addressed in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians as well as his letter to the Colossians. These letters were read to the gathered church.

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV):

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Colossians 3:20-21 (ESV):

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Paul specifically speaks directly to the children who would have been gathered in the early church worship service.

 

The State of the Church

Why are we at CrossPointe doing something different? Why are we challenging the current norm of modern churches? Don’t most churches today separate based on age? Don’t most churches have youth groups and children’s church, among other ministries?

We have already mentioned some of the Biblical reasons for our convictions. However, here are some practical statistics that may help explain some of the problems in our modern churches.

According to research done by Answers in Genesis (found in the book Already Gone by Ken Ham) regarding 1,000 young adults who grew up attending church and were no longer active, the research found that 90% of the respondents became inactive in middle or high school. 40% doubted the truth of the Bible by middle school and 43.7% doubted the Bible by high school. What was even more jarring in this was that those who attended Sunday school were statistically more likely to doubt the Bible and hold beliefs that conflicted with traditional church teachings.

Although the problems with our modern churches are multifactorial – including a lack of Biblical leadership and teaching by fathers, uninvolved mothers, a lack of family worship within the home, among others – it is clear that the church’s efforts have not seemed to be remedying the problems we are seeing.

 

Practical Benefits to the Family-Integrated Model:

  1. Higher quality teaching. Because there are not as many divisions within the church, those who lead studies are able to be chosen from among those most gifted to teach. In age-segregated models, it is more likely that there may be unqualified teachers of classes. Having more unified teaching also promotes unity within the body and decreases the chance of heretical teachings infiltrating the church.
  2. Better mentoring and discipleship opportunities. Because the church is gathered irrespective of age, it is easier to develop relationships among different generations thereby catalyzing more opportunities for mentoring and discipleship.
  3. More mature young people.

    1. Proverbs 13:20 (ESV): Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

      We believe that having our children do life with the older generations of our churches will aid in their maturity and development. The Bible teaches us that folly is bound up in the heart of a child (Proverbs 22:15). It also asserts that bad company ruins good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33). We reject the modern notion that children need socialized within their own age groups. We want to see our children mature in the faith and act like the men and women God has created them to be.

  4. Better mentorship and discipleship within individual family homes (stronger family bonds). Because parents are doing church alongside their children, they are able to integrate better discipleship within the home. Fathers can be encouraged to lead their homes well. Mothers can be encouraged to teach their children well. Parents and children are all learning the same things at church and can discuss these together. Deuteronomy 6 reminds us of the need to be doing family worship within our homes and discussing the things of God consistently. Psalm 78 also urges fathers to be sure to teach their children to obey the Lord’s commands.
  5. Better evangelistic fervor. Young people bring zeal along with them. More mature believers bring wisdom. When these two groups come together, the church becomes a mature and moving organism. There is often more heart for evangelism and service.
  6. Less resistance to change. Family-integrated churches are often more fluid. Because of age-integration, there is a tendency not to just remain stagnant. There is also fluidity because of the various differences between the groups that keep the church from falling into comfortable norms.
  7. More sense of belonging to all ages. Because all ages are involved in ‘big church,’ young people are more likely to take on roles of service and be a functioning part of the church body.
  8. Safety and Accountability. Although it is sad to discuss, a family-integrated model is safer for the children of the church. The whole body is together at all times which removes many of the opportunities for abuse that has plagued some churches.

 

Exceptions That We Deem Appropriate:

Now in this model, we do not believe that separating at times for specific purposes is against the Scriptures.

For example, Titus 2:3-5 urges older women to mentor younger women.

We believe that men and women can minister separately at times. There are distinctives between men and women that sometimes warrant separation for practical purposes and teaching purposes. In these ministries, we seek to integrate the various ages as much as possible. 

We also see a benefit to doing special things for the young children of our church at times that can be shared with the rest of the body.

 

Challenges to Overcome with the Family-Integrated Model:

  1. Distractions within the service and Bible studies. Parents must spend time practicing worship at home, training and discipline must be consistent, and grace must be shown from the church body as young ones learn self-control.
  2. Children of unbelievers. The families within the church must seek to bring children with their family unit to church. Because there are no attractional youth programs, the job to evangelize young people is on each individual within the church. Young people within the church must also be encouraged to invite their friends along with their families.
  3. A feeling of exclusion among those without children. The church must emphasize that although the family unit is very important, the church family is also important. Those without children can enjoy mentoring and discipling young people within the church.
  4. Educating those who are not familiar with the model. Because most churches do not have this model, education must be done to help others understand it. This is a difficult process and oftentimes slows down growth of some family churches. However, the unity that comes from a family church makes this effort worthwhile.

 

For Further Information on our Church Mission Strategy, please go to: crosspointefamily.church/about/church-mission-strategy -  On this document, we address questions such as what about singles, what about those without children, among other questions